Benrik diaries - Gorillaman always there... Never surfed!

Friday somebody decided to jump in front of the subway we were on, putting a damper on an otherwise perfectly good Friday.
It made me sad.

On Friday my master also tried selling me to my other colleges behind my back, none of them wanted to buy.
I’ve had better times. Like when i went to Bounty island, dived for seashells and had pinâ colada straight from a coconut. That was a pretty good day.


Speaking of tropical paradise... I found this guy hanging on my wall as part of a collage I started but never finished, and then I thought about how people say you should always finish what you start.
Why couldn’t I get that habit instead of being addicted to coffee?


Tonight I’m watching ”Igby goes down” for the twentyseventeenth time. (yes, it's a favourite... perhaps watching se7en and prepair myself for next week might be a better idea.)

Igby wonders:
”If heaven is such a wonderful place then how come being crucified is such a big fucking sacrifice?”
And that my friends also is a very good question.

Benrik diaries - Deus ex machine

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin?
My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.
My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my privates. There really is nothing like a shorn labium... it's breathtaking - I highly suggest you try it.



That’s that…
Moving on to the here and now.

Work:
I’ve been spending an amount of time catching up on important papers and decisions made.
Some people in this county are blood-thirsty, ambitious and very happy nowdays since they’re gaining in power by overthrowing the slower, more narrow-minded people with the use of techniques the old folks can’t even learn to spell.
Well, that's my personal interpetaition anyway - leading my mind to linger around the subject of power for a while. However I’m not going to write a lengthy essay about it.

Strange thought at 10:14:
I had a yoghurt called “Love” for breakfast and looked at the declaration, it said strawberry-chocolate-chilli. There was no mention of milk. Isn’t milk a basic ingredient for many things, especially yoghurt?

Tasking:
My Master Mr. T is a very humble person - it doesn’t come naturally for him to order me around.
My only duty consists in fetching him coffee, but every time he asks me for it he adds some comment about “No, I really could get it myself”, followed by a nervous giggle.
Today I informed him that one of the benefits of being a slave-owner is the possibility of selling a slave to someone else (if he feels he can’t make good use of me he might as well gain something else from the ownership).
So he tried selling me to Åsa for 1 sek.
She wasn’t interested in buying and I’m a little offended I’m not worth more.

Revelation of the day:
A deus ex machine really is a very handy thing. : )


Have a really good one…

Benrik diaries - Soda-life

I've noticed that being food-poisoned or having throw-up-in-the-winter disease makes you feel bubbly all over.

I've been sleeping for a solid 12 hours.

In one of the dreams I perticipated in Annika Lantz radio-show.
She's the sharpest brain south of Kiruna and I thought things were going really well. I was quite witty.
She just asked me to sum things up when the phone rang and I woke up.

So I never got around to summing things up.

Benrik diaries - Mr. T

This is Mr. T.
He’s my master (after winning the slave-lottery fair and square).
As you can see he was very pleased this morning when I presented him with the certificate of ownership.


I asked if he was comfortable, needed coffee or anything. He said “No” and asked if it wasn’t time for some lunch instead. “Of course master”
I carried his food.
I served it.
I forgot to serve water. I also gave him a spoon instead of a fork (although he specifically asked for a spoon which I thought was odd, but since he’s my master I’m not in the position to question his spoon-use).
All of this made him somewhat upset, hence I apologized and promised to work harder in the future. (“Please don’t whip me master.”)
After lunch he accused me for sneaking away from the dishes. I again managed to escape whipping by pointing towards the grapes on his table, I had fetched them from the fruit-basket.
He was again satisfied.
Before leaving work mr. T left me a note saying i should use the night to rest "tomorrow's going to be a busy day!"
I might have been completly wrong in thinking that he would be easy to please.

Other benrik-related stuff. I sent my partner in crime a get well card as he seems to be under the ice, or "under the weather" as some foreign people say.

I truly am all about giving today.


Well what else?
2 friends disappointed me Friday. Not that I’m really hugely upset with them, it’s more a confirmation of something else. Like you feel when you meet friends you used to swing and have lots of fun with as a kid, and then you meet them again 15 years later and there are no swings around or no interest in swinging.
With this said, it doesn’t mean that either has given up the possibility of ever swinging again.


Laugh of the day:
TV-commentator saying: “At this point we do not understand French” about a very upset French down-hill skier, cursing away after failing to finish his race.

Benrik diaries - Aim to please

Due to the fact that I’ve been pretty open about my benrik tasking people around me have been getting involved, adding pressure on me in their own quest for amusement. Sometimes I wish I never said anything to begin with.

And then I could take the easy way out.


My co-worker asked me about next weeks benrik task.
I answered: It’s slave-week…
“How are you gonna do that one?”
“Well, I figure I’m going to write down some people’s names on paper, draw one and become a slave.” (Not much to it.)
Then she got this very diabolic look in her eyes and now I fear her.


Possible slave-owners:

A - Slavery would probably include: Threading pearls, buying stuff at panduro, renting movies, making tea (especially since she’s been down with a cold the last couple of days), massage and buying wine.

J - Slavery would probably include: Buying groceries, doing dishes, lighting his cigarettes, buy him lunch.

Å - Slavery would probably include: Demands on me quitting some nasty habits, massage + fetch lots of copies.

T - Slavery would probably include: Making jokes and coffee + keeping out of the way.

O - Slavery would probably include: Worshiping, get him beer and food, remind him to work-out, perform plenty of air-drum-solos.


I'll draw a lucky master on Sunday.

First off Saturday. Going to Eva's tonight. Need to visit Systembolaget on my way.. am still lurking around in my pyjamas.

Benrik diaries - A lovely sweater and a few options

My co-worker wore this lovely sweater today and it got me into this really good mood. : )


After completing my task early I this week I got some extra time to think about some real-life tasks and options. (random-day-to-day thoughts.)

Options:
- Finnish my degree
- New job
- Brain-surgery
- Career
- Find meaning of life

- I’m leaning towards the degree-thing. Am going to the guidance-counsellor to explore further.
Down-side of this is economics, I could go somewhere else to study and that would lower my costs. Or study half time but that would obviously take twice the time.

- Find a new job, maybe a new place all together. Sometimes I’m thinking Dublin (as I can’t redo Prague, it wouldn’t be the same).
This would be a fun thing to do but not leading anywhere else besides yet another bonus on the experience account. (Well, like most things.)

- Brain surgery, for this one I just have to make an initial phone-call and be on my way. 08-320 100.
Need to check up eventual down-sides of a brain surgery. I don’t want to end up like Jack Nicholson in ”one flew…” do I?

- Work harder at what I do, get more involved and put some effort into my career(?)
Truth is, sometimes I get a real high and a feeling that what I do really makes a difference, that I’m an essential part of something bigger and that things would fall to pieces if I didn’t do it. That's a good feeling.

- Find meaning of life.
This would take a course in mathematics (my least favourite subject) then I would have to make some kind of calculation. And not just a regular everyday-kind-of-calculation like all the others. No, we’re talking a very BIG and extremely BOMBASTIC calculation with plenty of X:s and Y:s that would take you from one side of the problem to the other and back again, several times!
Oh yes, a calculation so grand that it would take enormous amounts of time to think about, both how to get to the answer and then how to interpret, adjust and adapt the answer to reality. Might take forever.

Just thinking…

Benrik diaries - My true opposite

First off I'd like to thank Yrla, Yrla Virvelpike (pige?) for recomending me Kim Hiorthöy. I've fallen in love with "This record can not set me on fire".
9 minutes of pure pleasure.

Secondly - attracting my opposite-tasking.
Mission completed as I got one reply.
"Here I am" he said and further confirmed his oppositeness by adding that he's taller than me and blonde!
He surely must be my opposite.
And I his.

Thirdly:
Lots to do. I'm beat.
What I really want to do is soak in my tub, pointlessly watch the Olympic games or any of the movies J and S lend me.