QX diaries - Babar

As a kid I was constantly terrified that my life was a book read by King Babar to his children and that one day he would close it and my life would end.

Benrik diaries - Sometime in early March

A sunny but cold day. I spent 2 minutes of it looking at my desperately red nose in the mirror. Like some kind of stop-sign.

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I finally decided on making a small adjustment that might make good things come to me easier. I’ve hesitated to do this before since I've been against the principle of people having it easy just because they’ve got the right name, know the right people or come from the right place. But why this need to make things harder on myself than necessary?
Only because I want people to like me for who I am?
At about 10: 45 it dawned on me that there’s no contradiction between the two.

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Yes, I ordered the Kajagoogoo-CD. In fact I found the single for 10 balubas on tradera but buying it there wouldn’t manipulate the charts, so I ordered it the proper way.

I’ve also made a thorough analysis of the lyrics to "Too Shy" and came to the conclusion that it’s all about this guy who's going to the hospital due to an allergic reaction. There he meets a massage-therapist who’s unable to treat him appropriately and in the end he dies.
So sad. *sigh*

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And inspired by my benrik partner I will now present stupid-internet-test of the day:
What Breed of Dog Are You?

To my enormous surprise it turns out I’m a Chihuahua:

"No bones about it, you're an energetic, devoted Chihuahua. For your breed, size definitely doesn't matter. After all, sometimes the best things (diamonds, car keys, Godiva truffles) come in small packages. Honest and straightforward, you're never afraid to speak up for what you believe in, especially if it's a cause near and dear to your heart. Having such a passionate personality can come with a few drawbacks, though. You can be moody at times, and people often find it hard to live up to your high standards. But once you make a friend, it's for life. Saucy and intense, your energy and unfailing loyalty make you a great companion. Woof!"


This gave me a frightening inner vision of me on a leach with Paris Hilton at the other end and now I need to recover.

Benrik diaries - Reunions

For my performance today I got these crackers from a fellow theater-buddy. Orangeflavor. I will have them with tea someday and I will look back upon this day with some kind of smile.



Wish of the day:
I wish I could imitate Elvis's stiff uper lip.
Practise starts today.



I decided to mix it up a bit by confusing pride with gluttony.
That screwed up my schedule.
Mostly due to the theatre thing today. We were ok, although my own energy was a bit low pre-show. I hadn't eaten properly (I rather slept an extra 15 min) and three of my friends didn’t show up as they said they would.
One had a choir-performance
One was down with a cold
The last one had pipe problems.
All good excuses, but still...
M, A and O showed, that felt good, in fact the entire audience felt good. : )
But I only had a pie.
So much for gluttony.

On my way into town I bumped into my favourite teacher from grammar-school. Arne.
During the five minutes spent together we covered these subjects:
Theatre and Arnes band (he was on his way to practise)
Old age
The future and work
The one friend I've still got contact with from that school and the one from clas who died last year.
Actually, that was the last thing I mentioned before we parted and afterwards I felt bad about leaving him with such sad news. He stood there surprised and said: "But Petri, he was just a little boy."
I replied "yes", cause he truly was a little boy, and then he died due to drug-related problems.



[space for pondering how fragile life can be]



Funny thing was on my way home again I managed to run into and old high-school buddy I haven't seen for... must be seven or eight years.
He looked just the same.
We didn't have time to talk since he was getting on the subway. I was getting off. He was with friends and I on the phone. But we happily huged.


Question: when you run into people from before you became the good-looking and successfully person you are now, what change in you do they comment?


(I can't get the capitation for image entry to work, anyone got a clue as to what I'm doing wrong? when i press "save changes" I get: "page can not be displayed".)

Benrik diaries - Wroth-sloth-thought

Wroth-sloth-thought:
I hate you so much that I don’t even bother recalling your fucking name.


Spending an entire day I bed sounded so very tempting when I woke up this morning. Yet I simply couldn’t.
Spent the last two days doing tables, functions, queries and crap = I’ve learned to manage SAS enterprise which I’m sure will be quite useful for something. Someday.
However… numbers just fail to intrigue me.

Question: Has anybody heard of any impressive number? : )


Wish I had time to write more, but I'm late.

Benrik diaries - Creed

So, I’ve been listening to Creed.

Comment: Yes it made me feel closer to God, but honestly people… this task really was too easy even for a person who simply doesn’t like Creed.

Benrik diaries - All about lust

Need I say I’ve been looking forward to this week. Just look at the name of my blog for Gods sake.


LUST

When I first thought about it, it made perfect sense. Of course the church would be against anything having the slightest thing to do with sex.
Condoms, handcuffs, strap-ons, stay-ups and get downs.

But really now...
Why wouldn’t the church be interested in people fertilizing? It secures future generations and believers, so how could that be a sin?
Fact: If the Catholic Church were against sex, they wouldn't be against the use of condoms - the church wants us to make more babies.

So, I figured that maybe they didn’t mean sex-related stuff, perhaps they were talking about other things we lust for - jobs, food, recognition, gadgets and even on good days life itself. Perhaps I should spend the day content, satisfied but joyless with an I-don’t-wanna-do-nothing-mood? A bit like a Buddhist monk sitting under some tree somewhere.

I felt confused and I felt worried.

I decided to wiki the thing.

• Lust (Latin, luxuria) (fornication, perversion) —
Obsessive, unlawful, or unnatural sexual desire, such as desiring sex with a person outside marriage or engaging in unnatural sexual appetites, or depraved thought and unwholesome morality. (Dante's criterion was "excessive love of others," thereby detracting from the love due to God). Associated with the cow and the colour blue.

Things where easier than I thought, every sexual act done since I lost my virginity has been unlawful and probably shows an unwholesome morality according to church-standards.
So task well done since every moment lived afterwards are moments in sin. Well that is until I confess and say that I’m really, really sorry.
I wonder if that would that give me my virginity back?

Anyway, yesterday I didn’t plead guilty.


Question: Would you like your virginity back?

Benrik diaries - Gorillaman always there... Never surfed!

Friday somebody decided to jump in front of the subway we were on, putting a damper on an otherwise perfectly good Friday.
It made me sad.

On Friday my master also tried selling me to my other colleges behind my back, none of them wanted to buy.
I’ve had better times. Like when i went to Bounty island, dived for seashells and had pinâ colada straight from a coconut. That was a pretty good day.


Speaking of tropical paradise... I found this guy hanging on my wall as part of a collage I started but never finished, and then I thought about how people say you should always finish what you start.
Why couldn’t I get that habit instead of being addicted to coffee?


Tonight I’m watching ”Igby goes down” for the twentyseventeenth time. (yes, it's a favourite... perhaps watching se7en and prepair myself for next week might be a better idea.)

Igby wonders:
”If heaven is such a wonderful place then how come being crucified is such a big fucking sacrifice?”
And that my friends also is a very good question.