Words from MySpace - The Joker

Most of the time I worry more about other people loosing me than I, myself if I'd ever go lost.

And that's what my daily battle is all about - the pressure about making it through without too much hassel, and then I'll be here for everyone tomorrow again.

Still, for as long as I can remember I always had these thoughts about escaping.

Having gone through all those thoughts over and over again I'm not naive enough to think that view on life is valid base for contentment, which is all I want.. (Happiness is 4 fucking amateurs).
The only one I actually want responsibility for is me, and I'd very much like to take pride in honouring that.

Today, as I was walking home from my parents I thought that one of the more difficult things about being a grown-up is to learn your limitations, know when to ask for help, lower your guard and let someone else fight your battles for you.
Still I struggle with the notion that no one actually would do that for me.
Or... that I might be a Don Quixote (a fool).

Words from MySpace - Things to do in Denver when you're dead

I saw Laila K on the bus looking kinda well.
Good for her!

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Yesterday I managed to hold my arm at the pool table.
Nina bought too much beer due to temporary insanity (or permanent... I don't know). But then I got a hold of myself - went home and watched "Chelsea headhunters". Which leads me onto the subject of Donal MacIntyre. There's not many heroes of that caliber around. More here.
I wonder wether to feel inspired or useless?

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Penis-game contributions:

Penises To Do In Denver When You're Dead
(or Things To Do In Denver When You're A Penis)

My Big, Fat Greek Penis

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Just nu lyssnar : Black Holes and Revelations Av Muse

Words from MySpace - Brothers & Disturbance

Anna-Nicole died and I thought about honouring her memory by taking the daily happy-pills with some wine...

And I cried when the Swedish biathlon-team won.
Apparently there's something about Sweden winning biathlon that makes me so much more emotional then when Anna-Nicole dies.
(I further confess that this wasn't the first time I've been caught crying when it comes to biathlon, the first time was when we took a freaking brons-medal in an olympic game som years ago. I just can't help myself.)
And I wonder if that's a sign of health or severe emotional disturbance?

(It might be something in the heritige cause I spoke to my granny on the phone today and she'd been sobbing too - just as my mother still does when they show re-runs of Bernt Johansson winning olympic gold in cycling, 1976!)

Another question/thought:

Brothers Zach Thorpe and Ian Braff

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Words from MySpace - (Mastodontfilms) Mats

So it's a regular Wednesday and I'm on the subway on my way from work when this man I know comes and sits down next to me, by accident.
I say "Hi" and he replies "Hi".
I get a bit supriced that he doesn't answer more eunthustiastic cause I know this guy and his wife from work and a couple of years ago. I've bumped into him before and usualy we greet eachother more than this. I get a bit confused and blunty ask "Don't you recognize me?"
"No. We don't know eachother."
"But aren't you Mats?"
"No I'm not."
Somehow I still doubt him, Mats always used to be a kidder, but still... I decide to take his word for it, that he actually knows who he is.
"You look just like an old collegue of mine"
"Oh no, there's another one?"
And then we laugh.
The guy opposite reflects on us not knowing eachother, that the moment is a bit embarrasing.
I reply: "Well, we know eachother now."
And when the guy who looks like Mats stands up for his stop, he tells me to give his best to Mats.

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It's -12 Celsius, aka bloody freakin' cold.
Quadra Pop rocks!
And I wouldn't say "no" to some candy.

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Just nu tittar : Outfoxed - Rupert Murdoch's War on Journalism

Words from MySpace - YO!

Standing by the bar I felt kinda bored, waiting for the bartender to notice me. There was this big-shoulderd man in a suit standing right next to me, his back facing me.
I took up my lipstick probably thinking "I'll refresh myself". However holding it in my hand I somehow decided that painting the guys back with a "Yo!" was a better idea.
So I did, and managed to do so without him (or anyone else) notecing.

As you can see in the picture I even succeded in refilling the letters for them to really show. Just to make it perfect.

Thinking about it today, I feel a bit embaresed, I'm really sorry for causing the guy a huge dry-cleaning bill and there really isn't any good excuse, other than that it was all in the name of some kind of fun.
I'd like to thank the heavens above for not getting caught and thereby getting punched or something. Yepp, I know, things could have gone terribly wrong.

But isn't it a lovely colour?

Words from MySpace - Era's not Eros

Era

I ment to write a very candid blog about sex, as that's what's been on my mind these last couple of days. You see I'm reading this book about porn - not in a juicy way but it's an objective look into the industri, our views about it. The authour actually succeeds in not taking sides. Leaving me alone with all my values, questions and thoughts.
It's a scary place to be. *somewhat ironic*

Oh well, instead of writing about sex I've decided to write a little something about eras.
I was in the kitchen making myself a sandwich and just gave my toast era a brief thought. And then kinda laughed at myself for deviding my life into the stupidest eras.
Other than the Toast-era I'd like t mention the...

... Orca/Killer whale era (17 years ago) I was consumed by killer whales and thought they where the coolest thing ever, later I've come to my senses and realized that squids by far is the coolest animal ever invented, however I wouldn't say I'm in a squid-era... yet!

... Black poetry era (10 years ago)... not my brightest moment perhaps. Lasted too long.

... "Igby goes down" era. I think I watched that movie almost every day two summers ago.

... Second world war era. (15 years ago) I just found it extremly interesting and even went on to write essays about it in my free/spare time.. just because I wanted to know and learn more.

... The-making-real-chocolate-from-cream,-milk,-cacao-and-lots-of-suger-at-Helenas-place-after-school-era (we were 17). One of my greater eras actually. : )

Wiki explains:

Era is a word used in English since 1615, derived from Late Latin aera "an era or epoch from which time is reckoned," probably identical to Latin æra "counters used for calculation," plural of æs "brass, money".
Like epoch, "era" in English it originally meant "the starting point of an age;" the meaning "system of chronological notation" is c.1646; that of "historical period" is 1741.
In chronology, an era is the highest level for the organization of the measurement of time. A calendar era span of many years which are numbered beginning at a specific epoch, which often marks the origin of a state or cosmology, the birth of a leader, or another significant historical or mythological event; it can be called after either accordingly.

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Just nu tittar : Bad Santa

Words from MySpace - At Last

... My shop.

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