Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Words from MySpace - I CONFESS, I SURRENDERYou don't want to breathe into the fire, but you're not quite sure where it's burning.

Last night I was sobbing in my bed 'til six and I feel really embaressed to tell you that. But I shouldn't...
Over the years I've read hundreds of blogs about people complaining over their colds, only one about depression in a true sense (from my perspective).
Depression comes with so much shame, as if you're somehow less worth than "sane" people because you've got brain-problems, it's so much more ok to be... oh, lets say clumbsy and break your legs from time to time, yepp, that's a whole lot easier to deal with and aid for everyone.

How do you relate to depression in friends or in yourself?
I admit, it's hard to deal with a depressed person. Just as it is for a depressed person to deal with others, especially if you're aware of your decease.
Do you tell or don't you? It's like you don't want to breathe into the fire, but you're not quite sure where it's burning.
At this point I don't know, or rather .... most of the time I try to get myself together enough to joke it away. But I'm not sure if I'll pay for that joke later on. Or if this even is worth thinking the sligthest about.

A very valid thought is that depression is compareble with migruene, some people just get it, we don't know why, but once you've had it, it unfortunatly often returns.
In both cases it's all about how you deal with it and how you learn to live with it.

I remeber when my doctor first subscribe me "happy"-pills. I sat in his room and felt redicoulus talking about how I really lived my days, uncovered and not like we usually reveil ourselfs.
And then I remeber him pushing the "enter"-button sending the proscription off to the pharmacy, looking at me confidently
he said; "The worst part is behind you now".
And I felt safe for the first time in years.

I feel better writing about it, but now I'm tired and I want to sleep, I'm sure tomorrow will be a better day.


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