Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Finally I got it! (... Miss Piggy tips)

...In the mail today:

Miss Piggy's Guide To Life -
This eclectic spoof of self-help books has the popular Miss Piggy offering advice on beauty, etiquette, finances, love, career planning, cooking, travel, and psychological therapy.

I will no longer be a such a lost wreck at sea.
I will learn all I need to know like:

Smart cooks realize that the easiest cookbook to use is the Yellow Pages and the handiest appliance in the kitchen is the telephone.

Plants are like lamps. You plug them in and they turn right on. When they stop working, just unplug them, throw them away and plug in another.

or valueble beauty tips like:
  • Never use yellow lipstick.
  • Never color your teeth.
  • Never powder your tongue.
  • Never put flowers in your nose.
  • Never braid your eyelashes.
  • Never put anything blue on your cheeks.
  • Never use anything that stinks, stings or stains.
  • Never use anything that makes you cry, sneeze, look old, or turn red and bumpy.

e-Bay surely is a great place for weird stuff.

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