He laughs his most adorable laugh and I think about how I’m not worthy. But still… there’s this joy in hearing him laugh. Sharing that moment.
Across the table Anna looks at me with worried eyes and this morning I woke up thinking about how I’m crawling here, and what day is it? Am i supposed to be at work? When I realise I’m not i curl back into bed and stay there until 11:30.
”my teacher in Swedish said: The world just got up from the bath-tub.
That’s the only wise thing that teacher ever said and I’m very happy I was there to hear it and didn’t skip class."
I was amused when I read that.
At some point I sat on my balcony and remembered the time when I hurt my back and had to stay home for three weeks. I couldn’t do anything but drink tea and read. I listened to Ella Fitzgerald and Louie Armstrong too. Read the James Ellroy quartet.
Looking back those where good days.
What does that really mean?
Washing up and cleaning stuff. I wanted to get rid of some books and at a sudden burst of something I rang my neighbours door and asked if she wanted them. She did and then she told me about one of the other buildings that share a book-shelf. Like a small library. We came to the agreement that she would donate my books there after reading them.
I feel satisfied.
Food for Thought: Grief is Just Love...
5 weeks ago