Benrik diaries - Menu

So, i’ve put up 2 signs at the office trying to offer minor sexual services.
One in the cafeteria and one downstairs.

Sign says:

I’m trying to sell minor sexual services and offer the following:

Menu:
Seductive look 5 kr
Kiss on the cheek 10 kr
Holding hand and strollin' my floor of the department 20 kr (30 kr for entire BV-tour*)
Long hug 30 kr

[Contact-information]

Fineprint:
No, prices can’t be argued, this is Sweden!
Prices and services are only valid for week 3.
You pay in advance and cash only. (No, sexual services offered back doesn’t work).
You can’t have second thoughts - once you made your buy you can’t switch in a kiss on the cheek against 2 seductive looks.
And no, throwing seductive looks back doesn’t mean that you can get your money back.


* BV = place I work.
And I took the liberty of changing a few of the tasks, all in the name of know-how.

Now I’m just gonna sit around and wait for customers.

QX diaries - Australian Open

äntligen är det nåt spännande som händer...

Benrik diaries - The beat my heart skipped

I feel unproductive; I need to do something.

Yesterday I saw “De battre mon coeur s'est arête”.
Recommendable.

Also 3 friends celebrate their birthday today.
I called one of them and sang. (- people might have found me odd since I did this while walking towards the bus, I sang pretty loud.)
I’m gonna call another one later on. (and sing)
The last one I don’t know that well = no singing.
Actually I've yet to meet somebody that has the same birthday as myself.
September 22nd… anybody?

Tomorrow my improvisational-theatre starts. I haven’t played for a whole year so this will be fun. I think it’s just what I need.

No… actually I need cash more.
Thank God it’s mini-prostitution-week!

Benrik diaries - The meaning of life as a poster

Yesternight I went to play pool. I was very happy with my game - never played better, (even though I lost). But why is it that 90% of all the people who play pool are men? Sisters are so missing out.

Oh, and I thought about Kid Rock. I wondered were he went?
I thought he might be drunk or in law-school. Or maybe he just disappeared into Pamela Anderson. (can anyone remember seeing him since they broke up?)


This morning it also hit me that I've reached the ultimat level of consumation.
The last year it seems more things leave my appartment then enter - I'm always looking for stuff that would be happier somewhere else.
I'm giving away my Billie Holiday poster, even tho' it's very pretty it doesn't fit my place so if it could fit someone elses that's good, right. After all that's the whole meaning of life as a poster. To be on a wall.


My dad is doing better now and mom is calmer. I'm thankful for both.

Some friends are on coming over to my place tonight. I really should clean.
On the other hand if they're true friends they won't mind the mess.

Benrik diaries - Wolfs!

Instead of Oprah, my mother woke me up this morning saying:
"Well now I have to go to the hospital with dad, have you got the number
for some cab-company, you take cabs from time to time, right?"

Come again? Hospital? Dad?
God.. what time is it? (9:03)
I simply said "yes", trying to let it all sink in.

The fact is that my parents called me on my mobile yesternight, but when I
noticed I figured it was too late to call back.
"What's wrong with dad?" Worried, really worried. In my mind he'd had a stroke.
"Haven't got time to get into it, we need to go."
So I tried to come up with the number to a cab company.
Now, who in their sane mind remembers numbers to cab companies one minute after they've woken up to the news that something's wrong with their father?
But I really tried to remember since it was a matter of life and death..
Taxi Stockholm... something with 30,.. 30 30 00? 30 30 30? I said: "30 00
00." (Probably wrong.)
"Ok, I'll call you later when I'm at the hospital."
And then she hung up.

On my way to work I tried to remember if the last conversation I had with
my dad was a good one, and it was.
Then I thought that if something really, really bad had happened they would
have taken the ambulance wouldn't they? (At this point I had started
thinking constructively about it.) And my mom has a tendency to be a bit
dramatic when it comes to people being ill.
So to use a Swedish expression: I decided to have ice in my belly. ( = chill) At least until I knew more.
By lunch-time mother called me and explained that dad had a quite serious
infection in his leg, but they were on their way home now, he'll be fine.


Later a guy at work turned 60 and we celebrated with lots and lots of vodka.
No, we had cake.
Things are ok.

Benrik diaries - Out of sheer happiness and joy

This morning Oprah woke me up giving me guilty conscience before I had even started doing anything about anything.
Damn that woman!
Somehow I left the TV on and I will definetly be more careful about doing so in the future. Definetly be careful.


Yesterday I finally went to deliver christmas-gifts to my Godchildren (ho-ho-ho). I had bought 3 Donald Duck books for Robin and pink nail polish to go with the pink hairspray for Sara.

When you give people stuff you always want people to say something like: "Amazing, simply amazing, this is the best gift I've ever had... I ever will get... and I love you so much". And then you want them to jump around a bit, out of sheer happiness and joy.
Somehow they never say or do that.
They mumble "Thanks!"

I may be asking too much. : )


Am deeply disappointed in my own ability to tell lies. (not to mention my ability to be completly truthful)
But this time I had actually practised it all in my head:
"Well Santa came for some coffee the other day... you know me and him, we're like this..." *place for finger motion* "...he also dropped of a few things that he said he'd forgot to give you and asked if I could bring them instead."
I couldn't even get that lie over my lips, and people tell this one at random, at all times... well around christmas anyway.


Recommendation of the day is:
Selfish - Lonesome road

Benrik diaries - Make it to China

I do lie. But not pathologically and therefore I find this week to be very hard.
Last night I came to the conclusion that it’s either due to the fact that I have:
(a) a lack of imagination
or
(b) I’m a really good liar and my troubles are since this goes against the whole art of lying. Like when an architect makes a “simple” sand-castle (you know those round ones you used to make) or Maradona plays football for fun and doesn’t care the slightest about loosing.

But I will try, I will really, really try my best.

Otherwise the week has started of really slow.
I asked my boss for something more challenging to do since the regular things are running smooth as baby skin and I’m a bit bored.
He (Goran) gave me the map-thing we’ve been talking about so I’m gonna start making maps… (or at least learn how to.) Goran’s convincing me that it’s a really big thing and yes, I admit to being doubtful in the beginning but more and more I’m starting to feel like Magellan - about to go on a very long journey, discover stuff.
This goes very well with my plans for lunch.
We’re off to the china-place.