Benrik diaries - End of an era

Yesterday I bought a mp3 player.
First person I tell this to says: But they're no good, I promise you... it'll break within a year.
That wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear.

Anyway, up until now (for the last 5 years) I've been very happy with my MD. We've been trough allot so now that I have to abandon him (yes it's a "he") I actually feel a bit empty and sad inside.
It's the end of an era I tell you.
But I’ll always cherish the memory of how he used to bright up my dullest moments with music - when walking down the street - when standing around waiting.
"I am the walrus" always fit these pictures perfect.
So I'm gonna name the new little fellow "Eggman".
He reminds me of an egg.

I've managed to squeeze in 4 of the codewords into a text-conversation I had:
Twin Towers, Terrorism, CIA and Guantanamo.

Other: Got a e-mail from one of my friends in Prague. Felt up-cheered, but at the same time down-cheered since it made me want to go there badly which is impossible right now.

Benrik diaries - En sammanfattning

Went to a club.
I don't like clubs anymore.
Actually I didn't like clubs to begin with - they never really stood a fighting chance.
100 kronor and 45 minutes wasted.
I used their bathroom in return.


Gonna colour my hair.
I've actually thought about becoming a brunette, since I'm not sure that I live up to the expectations of being a red-head. (or maybe it's the people who approach you a cerain way based on the idea of you, judging from your appearence.)
They think we're more wild and wacky than other people.
Sometimes we're more wild and wacky than other people.
Sometimes we're looking for the exit-sign. Just like everybody else.


J got lucky Saturday! : )
He called me on his way home (all smiles) and later he popped by for a movie.
He said he's gonna call her, she was nice, then he said that he's gonna think about it some more, only to 15 minutes after saying so ask me for suggestions on stuff to do on a 1st date (or 2nd... whatever...).
(Walking, beer, Liljevalchs.)
Later, when he had gone I almost called up to tell him not to wait too long with that phone-call.
- You should never wait too long, cause good things doesn't come to those who wait, it's a complete lie (no matter what they tell you).
(Besides, he has to compensate from breaking the first phone-rule. Being: always say “Maybe we could exchange phone numbers?” not “Maybe I could have your phone number and call you sometime.”)


Haven't gotten around to any tasking.
I just woke up from a meeting.

Benrik diaries - China is only mentioned in this title

First a qoute:

“What came first, the music or the misery?
People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss.
Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?”


So, I get 2 e-mails and he asks me if the address still works. I reply that it does and then I work.
After work - after-work.

Just before I get my triple sandwich he calls and tells me that he misses me and that he's been wanting to call me for a long time.
I'm sitting there... surrounded by co-workers. You might say it's not the perfect time for him to call.
I can't say that I've missed him either, it doesn't come naturally for me any more.

Oh.. but don't get me wrong here, sometimes I miss him dreadfully and sometimes I think that everything I do is distractions from thinking about all the ways I miss him.
You see I’m always very uncertain about the truth.

I could hear the stress in his voice, he wasn't well-prepared cause this was a phone-call he made without thinking. Usually he avoids making those kinds of phone-calls since he's the type that makes notes about what to say to the doctor before calling. To get everything right.
Yes, I still know him very well.
I said: Maybe we could talk some other time?
He said: Yes, I might call you some other day... whenever... you know.
- Mmm.. I know.
Whenever he calls I'm almost always right where he left me.
And these days I conclude this with much less sadness and stress then I used to.



I decided to make a mix CD instead, for the pool-place (since I’ve been spending so much time there I’ve grown tired of their bad music and decided to do something about it).
I figured these are good songs for playing pool, both for me and for people without any taste in music what so ever:

1. Haschpipe – weezer
2. Enter the dragon – infinite mass
3. Carmen queazy – maxim feat. Skin
4. Spoonman – soundgarden
5. Whole lotta love – ike & tina turner
6. Miss celie’s blues
7. Spooky – dusty springfield
8. In these shoes? – kirsty mccoll
9. I hate you – girlsmen
10. Magic mountain – eric burdon & war
11. Tighten up – archie bell & the drells
12. Kielbasa sausage – tenacious d
13. Plush – stone temple pilots
14. I don’t wanna be – gavin degraw
15. Sunday mondays – vanessa paradis
16. I drove all night – cindy lauper
17. I don’t care – transvision vamp
18. Hey, johnny park – foo fighters

I’ve always identified myself as a soul-babe. But making this I realized I’m much more punk-rock than I ever though.
Go figure. : )

I always get excited about making mixed CD’s (I almost mass-produce them). Although in the end, when I’m done I’m never happy with the result. It’s never perfect, it’s like a struggle towards the goal of making the perfect mixed CD which I never reach. In fact I'm never even close, and that’s why I do it all the time. Strange thing is that in my head before I've made the stupid thing I'm always certain that this time... "this time, it's gonna be bloody perferct."

I have a theory about the things we’re interested in, comparing most things with drugs.
- The flow you sometimes reach when you write something.
- The feeling after/during running a perfect 100 m race (now I don’t know anything about running 100 m, but I imagine it’s like a flow).
- A good days work (?)
Anyway, the kick would be similar right? And that’s most of the time what you’re looking for. Kicks and reaching a level of flow.

So, it’s Friday today… and maybe we'll meet a friend, and hopefully we’ll do something fun – have an extremely humorous and interesting conversation, watch a good movie, eat something nice, maybe meet other friends or new exciting people. Or we simply stay home, being happy with ourselfs.
…in a couple of days, if we had fun today we’d wanna do it again. So we keep at it. Or we try explore other ways to give life some meaning.

Is the sum of addictions a constant factor?
I'd really like to know.

I might get back to this subject in the future.


But back to that qoute.
When I read “High fidelity” I finally found a character that was almost like me, that felt good. So I read books hoping to stumble across another character to identify with, who might explain me in ways I myself haven't got words for.
(or objectiveness.)

Well,
[pause]
Anyway…

Gonna end todays blog with the given question; have you’ve ever identified yourself with a character in a movie or a book?
If so… who?

Have a fun filled and safe weekend with your drug of choice.


p.s. oh... Almost forgot to mention, I actually mailed the letter from my previous blog to the chinese consulate in sweden asking them to please forward it to Hu Jintao - haven't heard anything since tho...

QX diaries - A Piece

Piis of majnd. (eh...no that's not right)
Pees of mijnd (shit.)
peas of maind (fuck, fuck, fuck!)

Peace of mind (hell yeah!)

Benrik diaries - Open letter to Hu Jintao

I've been really tired, don't know if it's from the yoga, or the fact that I haven't recovered from the walk yesternight when i missed the last subway and had to walk all the way from Odenplan to Slussen.
Of course I oversleept heavily this morning and tonight i didn't do anything at all for a change. (except food, cleaned out parts of my closet, listening to dusty springfield and made two phonecalls.)
I'm not gonna do my Qi Gong tonight, I need to rest.
Instead I've written a letter to Hu Jinatao to compensate. (since I haven't had any rice today either). Gonna try mailing it tomorrow.
Tomorrow's payday... Yihaa... I need cash badly. : )


Here's the letter:

Greatings your excellency, mr Hu Jintao,

First of all I want to welcome you as my new leader. I am quite certain that the new way of the world is for the better so don’t let George put you down too much about it.
Still, I’ve got a few questions for you.
Will the new rule increase or decrease the quality of movies?
Do you like movies?
If you like movies maybe we could have a movie-night you and me some time when you ain’t got other things to do! Of course being as you are the new leader of my country my home is your home. You're always welcome, however does the new ruler ship mean that I really have to kill Dalai Lama if I see him? Or is it enough if I call for a police-officer?
Have you ever met Dalai Lama?
I saw him in the globe when I was 17 when he came to talk to students. He likes movies by the way, so maybe you could become friends anyway (if you like movies I mean).
If you’re ever coming by for a movie-night maybe we could invite him to come along as well, what do you think?
Also I’m pretty good with the wok so I could make us something good to eat.
Which leads me up to my next question, which rice do you prefer? Basmati, jasmine or Uncle Bens?
And how would you grade the following:
- Learning mandarin
- Becoming a good communist
- Saving cute animals from extinction

I’m also curious about if you ever feel scared? Sometimes I get scared, so it’s ok with me if you do get scared. I know the feeling.

Last but not least, I wonder if you really remembered to mail me Mao’s book? It hasn’t arrived yet.

Yours truly,
B


P.S. Xīn nián hăo!

Benrik diaries - Wo bu zhi dao

So, first day of china week.
Of course I had rice with my food.

"Wo bu zhi dao" means "I don't understand" in mandarin which seems like a practical thing to learn as a beginner trying to adapt.

Also I took it on myself to rename both Stockholm and myself to "Sho ha" and "Il Ching". Just to make things a whole lot easier.

Later on I'm gonna do my Qi Gong.


Other than that this Monday was a good day. We had a course in presentation-technique (same as tomorrow).. went over things to think about before a speech/performance/etc.
It was lots!
How are you supposed to keep all those things mind and at the same time remember what it was you where supposed to talk about?
However, one thing I learned is that out of a speech people focus 60% on your appearance, 30% on something I forgot and only 10% on facts.


Yours,

Il Ching

p.s.
To answer the questions on my previous blog.
I haven't the slightest clue on what type she tried teaching me. The one where you're supposed to lie on the floor and put your legs over your head?
I was amazed I managed to do that and surprised that I forgot to breathe all the time. My body feels sour today btw.
Qi Gong is easier, and yes it's something I do from time to time - good for relaxing, and getting more flexible (as Yoga). This week I'm gonna do it more than I usually do.

Benrik diaries - Too slippery

This city is too slippery.
Walking home i slipped on the road. Laid on my back, alone, -10 C and snow everywhere.
I felt like someone in "eternal sunshine of a spottless mind", that and my whole life flashed before my very eyes.

No, I really didn't. It was too bloody cold and I just wanted to get up and get on with it.
Nothing broken. : )


I didn't sell any sexual favours during the weekend.
Instead I spent most of my time with Anna, she tried teaching me Yoga and that felt weird. In the end I came to the conclusion that I'm more of a Qi Gong-person - it's not as rough. Also It's more Chinese, right?
I'm gonna try to do Qi Gong once a day next week.

Benrik diaries - Get down to business

I haven't managed to sell anything yet!!!

This is probably because:
1. all the men at work are old and married
2. some people didn't actually see the sign until today.
3. I might be ugly

So I've decided on taking action.
I made a new menu pressing that I'm not gender specific, prices tho' are the same. In the name of equality.
& tomorrow I’m organising a sale.

I’m not sure about how to take it. Being a complete prostitute-failure.
Is it bad? Is it really bad?

On the other hand it's a relief that business hasn’t been too good, otherwise I might be tempted to get into that line of occupation and I'm just not in the mood.

However, later during the afternoon my boss told me that he might have been able to sell one little favour on my behalf.
He also said that the idea of selling minor sexual favours was good and he plans to run it from next week onwards, double the prices, of course.



Tuesday was first class of impro and that was weird but fun. It's been such a long time since last.
Mostly we played around, getting to know all the new faces.
The new group seams friendly.
I'm looking forward to the next time.

Yesterday was a low, had 2 beers with a friend, after work. no more no less. I've been trying to stick to my goal of not drinking as much as I did last year. So far I've done well.

Today it was my Grandfathers birthday and I was supposed to go. The parents said they would pick me up, but then they called and dad wasn't up for it with the infection lingering on.
Instead I ended up calling him. Sang of course. We spoke a bit and he said he felt sad about getting older but other than that he was fine.
At some point I told him that he was cute (he can be), he answered “no, but come to think of it that's what some girls think” and then he giggled.
That was peak of the day.

Benrik diaries - Menu

So, i’ve put up 2 signs at the office trying to offer minor sexual services.
One in the cafeteria and one downstairs.

Sign says:

I’m trying to sell minor sexual services and offer the following:

Menu:
Seductive look 5 kr
Kiss on the cheek 10 kr
Holding hand and strollin' my floor of the department 20 kr (30 kr for entire BV-tour*)
Long hug 30 kr

[Contact-information]

Fineprint:
No, prices can’t be argued, this is Sweden!
Prices and services are only valid for week 3.
You pay in advance and cash only. (No, sexual services offered back doesn’t work).
You can’t have second thoughts - once you made your buy you can’t switch in a kiss on the cheek against 2 seductive looks.
And no, throwing seductive looks back doesn’t mean that you can get your money back.


* BV = place I work.
And I took the liberty of changing a few of the tasks, all in the name of know-how.

Now I’m just gonna sit around and wait for customers.

QX diaries - Australian Open

äntligen är det nåt spännande som händer...

Benrik diaries - The beat my heart skipped

I feel unproductive; I need to do something.

Yesterday I saw “De battre mon coeur s'est arête”.
Recommendable.

Also 3 friends celebrate their birthday today.
I called one of them and sang. (- people might have found me odd since I did this while walking towards the bus, I sang pretty loud.)
I’m gonna call another one later on. (and sing)
The last one I don’t know that well = no singing.
Actually I've yet to meet somebody that has the same birthday as myself.
September 22nd… anybody?

Tomorrow my improvisational-theatre starts. I haven’t played for a whole year so this will be fun. I think it’s just what I need.

No… actually I need cash more.
Thank God it’s mini-prostitution-week!

Benrik diaries - The meaning of life as a poster

Yesternight I went to play pool. I was very happy with my game - never played better, (even though I lost). But why is it that 90% of all the people who play pool are men? Sisters are so missing out.

Oh, and I thought about Kid Rock. I wondered were he went?
I thought he might be drunk or in law-school. Or maybe he just disappeared into Pamela Anderson. (can anyone remember seeing him since they broke up?)


This morning it also hit me that I've reached the ultimat level of consumation.
The last year it seems more things leave my appartment then enter - I'm always looking for stuff that would be happier somewhere else.
I'm giving away my Billie Holiday poster, even tho' it's very pretty it doesn't fit my place so if it could fit someone elses that's good, right. After all that's the whole meaning of life as a poster. To be on a wall.


My dad is doing better now and mom is calmer. I'm thankful for both.

Some friends are on coming over to my place tonight. I really should clean.
On the other hand if they're true friends they won't mind the mess.

Benrik diaries - Wolfs!

Instead of Oprah, my mother woke me up this morning saying:
"Well now I have to go to the hospital with dad, have you got the number
for some cab-company, you take cabs from time to time, right?"

Come again? Hospital? Dad?
God.. what time is it? (9:03)
I simply said "yes", trying to let it all sink in.

The fact is that my parents called me on my mobile yesternight, but when I
noticed I figured it was too late to call back.
"What's wrong with dad?" Worried, really worried. In my mind he'd had a stroke.
"Haven't got time to get into it, we need to go."
So I tried to come up with the number to a cab company.
Now, who in their sane mind remembers numbers to cab companies one minute after they've woken up to the news that something's wrong with their father?
But I really tried to remember since it was a matter of life and death..
Taxi Stockholm... something with 30,.. 30 30 00? 30 30 30? I said: "30 00
00." (Probably wrong.)
"Ok, I'll call you later when I'm at the hospital."
And then she hung up.

On my way to work I tried to remember if the last conversation I had with
my dad was a good one, and it was.
Then I thought that if something really, really bad had happened they would
have taken the ambulance wouldn't they? (At this point I had started
thinking constructively about it.) And my mom has a tendency to be a bit
dramatic when it comes to people being ill.
So to use a Swedish expression: I decided to have ice in my belly. ( = chill) At least until I knew more.
By lunch-time mother called me and explained that dad had a quite serious
infection in his leg, but they were on their way home now, he'll be fine.


Later a guy at work turned 60 and we celebrated with lots and lots of vodka.
No, we had cake.
Things are ok.

Benrik diaries - Out of sheer happiness and joy

This morning Oprah woke me up giving me guilty conscience before I had even started doing anything about anything.
Damn that woman!
Somehow I left the TV on and I will definetly be more careful about doing so in the future. Definetly be careful.


Yesterday I finally went to deliver christmas-gifts to my Godchildren (ho-ho-ho). I had bought 3 Donald Duck books for Robin and pink nail polish to go with the pink hairspray for Sara.

When you give people stuff you always want people to say something like: "Amazing, simply amazing, this is the best gift I've ever had... I ever will get... and I love you so much". And then you want them to jump around a bit, out of sheer happiness and joy.
Somehow they never say or do that.
They mumble "Thanks!"

I may be asking too much. : )


Am deeply disappointed in my own ability to tell lies. (not to mention my ability to be completly truthful)
But this time I had actually practised it all in my head:
"Well Santa came for some coffee the other day... you know me and him, we're like this..." *place for finger motion* "...he also dropped of a few things that he said he'd forgot to give you and asked if I could bring them instead."
I couldn't even get that lie over my lips, and people tell this one at random, at all times... well around christmas anyway.


Recommendation of the day is:
Selfish - Lonesome road

Benrik diaries - Make it to China

I do lie. But not pathologically and therefore I find this week to be very hard.
Last night I came to the conclusion that it’s either due to the fact that I have:
(a) a lack of imagination
or
(b) I’m a really good liar and my troubles are since this goes against the whole art of lying. Like when an architect makes a “simple” sand-castle (you know those round ones you used to make) or Maradona plays football for fun and doesn’t care the slightest about loosing.

But I will try, I will really, really try my best.

Otherwise the week has started of really slow.
I asked my boss for something more challenging to do since the regular things are running smooth as baby skin and I’m a bit bored.
He (Goran) gave me the map-thing we’ve been talking about so I’m gonna start making maps… (or at least learn how to.) Goran’s convincing me that it’s a really big thing and yes, I admit to being doubtful in the beginning but more and more I’m starting to feel like Magellan - about to go on a very long journey, discover stuff.
This goes very well with my plans for lunch.
We’re off to the china-place.

Benrik diaries - No 9

I’ve never bet one horses before. I bet on football (soccer) twice when I was about 11, but that’s 22 people and no horses are involved.
I didn’t have the slightest clue as to how things with horses-racing works so I simply told the woman behind the counter that I wanted to place a 1 money bet on a horse in some race and then she said that it wasn’t possible - the least amount of cash I could place was 2.
Fair enough…
I picked horse number 9 to win tomorrow, after all 9 is my favourite number and that’s unrational. What has number 9 ever done for me?

Benrik diaries - & my inner child wet her pants

This was a good day.
I didn't do any tasks, but at least I've got the book now so I've been planning my days ahead while helping a friend paint his hallway (red like in my kitchen)...
I really got to use my creative skills during both activities and I made a nice plan for tomorrow.

After that I went to celebrate Malins birthday. This was easily the funniest thing I've done all year. First we had soup and lots of wine at her place and then we went to a scabby old place in town to dance our pants off.
Scabby old places really are the best for dancing pants off.

These are the names of the people I remember from the party:
2 * Annika:s (they also the same second-name as myself which made the world smaller & people feel closer), Sofia, Malin, David, Anna, Per, Carola, Håkan, Pernilla, Stina, Jenny, Olof, Karl and… I guess I didn't speak to the rest of the people, paid attention or was drunk.
We danced some and Stina (whom I’ve never wet before) said that she thought I was a lesbian... Not that I mind, but she wasn't my type!
So anyway, I explained that I wasn't and that's when she kissed me on the cheek! Weird behaviour.
Karl and Olof were gay but not a couple. Everybody liked them very much and I'm having a ham-sandwich now.

Funny Vogue-incident at the dancefloor:
Earlier yesterday my friend asked me in English "What are you looking at?" (I was looking at something). I replied "vogue".
When the song came on (haven't heard it in years) my inner child actually wet her pants.

Oh... I've got a Benrik-partner, that was a nice surprise. : )
I wonder if he likes Keith Jarrett?
I know he likes "Fight club" so he seems like a man with good taste.

Benrik diaries - 112, what's the emergency?

I was waiting for the bus when a woman came up to me asking if I could give her 100 money since she had been robbed and needed it for a ticket home for her and her son (who I didn't see).
I said "no" since I didn't have any money.
She then went on and asked another woman standing beside me (she also said "no").
The my bus came and as I got on to it, through the window I saw a lady give the woman some money.
This made me angry and I decided to call the police.
Called the police, gave a report, description... They said that they would check it out.
I did this since I just thought that what she was doing was wrong. Going about trying to fool people with her story. Even though it's almost like other beggars asking for money for shelter or food. But it's also different... if her story was true she would have gone to the police herself wouldn't she? And then they would help her home. But she was acting on peoples good-will to sometimes help and be kind, and after that people feel like fools when they found out that they were instead cheaten, and then they don't trust strangers anymore.
I could have easily gone away thinking like most people that everyone's on their own. Like it is. hmm.... well.
I had decided that this would be "sowing the first seed of anarchy-day".
I had a plan.
Now I'm thinking that what I did was anarchy, in a different way.
I stumbled across my task-fullfillment.

Question of the day at work is: If you were a fruit what fruit would you be?
(feel free to answer)
I would be a pear. Not a mango.

Benrik diaries - It's not a science

My mind's way off today. Had a strange yesterday evening and now I'm trying to get back into things again. Bright sides and views.

I'm re-reading my favourite book right now. "Expedition L" by Erlend Loe. That cheers me up.

"We must incidentally, make clear from the beginning that if a thing is not a science it's not necessarily bad. For example love is not a science. So if something is said not to be a science, it doesn't mean that there’s something wrong with it; it just means that it's not a science."

That's a direct quote from the book when Erlend quotes Richard P Feynman.

I've been carrying around the H&M catalogue lately. Thought I’d take it to work and have a look inside when I didn't have much more to do. It came in handy this morning when I was waiting for my sandwich to get done.
I took a pen and started marking things I'd like to have. Just as when I was a kid and the catalogue with toys came (just before Christmas) I marked most things that had a touch of pink.
This time I got around to marking a red top. Not sure if I'm gonna order it tho', maybe I’m just one of those persons who likes to mark things.


My idea was to sexually harass myself all day.
It started off really good with me grabbing myself this morning. I said "Lilla stumpan" to myself and winked.
Strangely enough I kind of liked it.
I thought I was going to be more offended then that.
So I figure this mission has failed so far since I don't really feel harassed.
I'm trying to come up with something that's really gonna break me.

Meanwhile I've started a crime novel with an "H".
That went well.

Benrik diaries - Sowing seads

I didn't get to work until now..
Slept in, had brunch, played arcade.
Does this count as sowing the first seed of anarchy?
My guess is no.
Sowing the first seed to anarchy is really the task I'd most like to do & I'm gonna do it before the week ends.

That reminds me of the Tears for fears song.. I always hated that one... "Sowing the seeds of love".
Although they had good intent.

Is it better to sow the first seed of love, rather than anarchy?
Or is it maybe the same thing?

Tears for fears also had hits with "Shout", "Everybody wants to rule the world" and they wrote that Donnie Darko song - "Mad world.". Those where good songs.
I think that they wanted to change things with their music.
I don't feel very changed by Tears for fears.

Anyway... As I was about to order my sandwich I had several to choose from. 2 of these contained avocado. I didn't pick any of these. I took the egg, kaviar and gräslök-one instead, since I've excluded avocado from my diet.

Benrik diaries - The royal family...

Yesterday the head-line was that the royal family was completely furious with TV4 for comparing our prince to a 4-year old. (He's really not the sharpest tool in the shelf.)
And I went about my way thinking is this what the world has come to? I don't give a rats ass about the prince.

Later I listened to the news... The road-people who work with roads have a goal that no-one in this country should die in car accidents. That's how safe we'd like to be.
About 200-250 people die on Swedish roads in a really bad year.
Thousands of people die from suicide each year.
The suicide-people, working to prevent suicide hasn't got the goal of no-one killing them self. I’m not sure if they have a goal.
I found this really strange since they say that about 25% of all the single-person-in-car-accidents are suicides.
No one thinks about the oddness in this.
We should think about the prince. (It is actually really sad that he's stupid. If he was bright and I trusted him I would mail him about this and then he could take some serious action.)

Bu then again what good did I myself really do yesterday?
Wiggled my toes. Didn’t kill ants.
If someone would describe me they might very well compare me to a 4-year old as well.
I’m not sure if I care tho’.

Benrik diaries - Ice-cream country

Yesterday I got the question about where one could find the ice-cream country.
And immediately I thought "Greenland!" It's pretty cold there hence it would be a good place to keep lots of ice-cream.
But on the other hand… when I thought about it again and it would be kind of stupid to have the ice-cream country there wouldn't it?
No one would appreciate it…
It would have more effect if it where to be found close to Tonga or in the West Indies maybe.

I’ve wigled my toes … I hope that was what I was supposed to do.
Also I saved several ants simply by not doing any digging today. To dig up an ant only to save it would be one step forward - one step back... Surely it would freeze to death before I got about saving it.

Benrik diaries - Death... front & back

Well... icy steps almost killed me this morning and made me speak to 3 strangers within 10 minutes.
1st the lady walking the icy steps besides me. I said "This is a matter of life or death" (now this isn't what I actually said. I said "Det här är förenat med livsfara" but since this is written in english I have to come up with something else - but the meaning is almost the same).
After surviving.. I became a social-animal and asked a stranger if I had missed the bus or not. Even tho' I knew I definitely had missed the bus.
"You just missed it" she said.
A couple of minutes later I informed the bus-driver that the door was open.
I guess I became overly social after the near-death-thing and had realized that I didn't want to die alone - trying to compensate and make new best friends all at once.

Well then I got to work and remebered after seeing an interview with Henrik (this morning) that I have to have that calander. It will keep me closer to life then death, right?
(I ordered the calander and found a link from the bookshops web-sight to this one.. and that's how I got here.)